Attraction is the stage in which we get women interested in us. We produce attraction. Read that last sentence again. We produce attraction. This is a essential difference between Love Systems and other systems. We were not, and are not, fulfilled with simply cultivating our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is absorbed in us (although this is essential and we will talk about it below). Rather, one of our developments is in how we've learned to take a woman who initially is "emotionally unbiased" towards us, and counting on on female behavioural patterns, trigger the right emotional switches that cause her to be both interested and engrossed.
So, how do you start interest? Simple, you jump straight straightforward into attraction as soon as you spot an opening from the opener. You don't even need to end your opening. For example, you might have approached a group and inquired for an view on something (e.g., "my friend over there, she wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?"). There's no significance to you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So, as soon as you can, you'll want to shift by saying something like "hey, that reminds me..." and jump into a bit of attraction material. Attraction material can be a story, a specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other system to build attraction. We talk about this PUA training more further down.
Gentlemen who are new to Love Systems often question how we can go between unrelated pieces of ideas. If you walk up to a group of people inquiring about your friend's hair, and then begin telling them about something that happened to you earlier that day, you may feel that it's strange or uncool. Put faith in us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people - especially females – don't care if there is little noticeable relationship between different conversational threads, as long as they are entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will be grouped into specific subjects, but these subjects are rarely related. So, after a few of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she will tell a few about some movie star. They're not connected, but we don't notice or care. We're amused and interested. If you feel wary doing this at in the beginning, you can slip in a throwaway connector like "that reminds me..." or "that's just like when..." However, in time, you'll appreciate that these too are superfluous.
To review: the moment you change the topic from your opener to something new, you're in attraction. Now your work is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are interested.
2 key building blocks for this happen to be Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) and Teasing. A DHV is simply a demonstration that you're "better than the other guys." You have a more advanced value than they do. Many men instinctively understand this- this is why they try to lift weights, dress nice, earn money, get social status, etc. Some men will also try to put other men down, so that they look better by comparison.
While this technique helps, it's ultimately a partial tactic. 1st, there will always be someone better looking, better dressed, richer, & more successful than you. Next, the most attractive girls already have tons of dudes in their lives that are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed, rich, and successful working to get their interest. It will take more than the above described to win their interest in you.
So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have higher value. How do we do this?
•Storytelling happens to be a vital technique in your arsenal. You MUST learn how to amuse and keep a group's attention through the telling of a story. Great storytelling is also required for proper sub-communication (the next in our list of DHVs), and is prized as a treasured social skill. This is why it's extremely important that you map out & practice your stories.
o Learn how to have a great hook line (e.g., "Do drunk I love yous count?").
o Learn how to leave open threads for your targets to inquire about (e.g., "I was in Japan last week, and all over Tokyo there are these vending machines that look like they sell soft drinks, but it's actually like fifty varieties of milk. And you don't put coins in them, you use your cell phone to call for a drink..."). The open thread here of course is "what were you doing in Japan?"
o Learn how to get input for your stories in "safe ways" that don't risk wrecking the purpose of your story. For instance, if you're telling a story about your cousin, you could start with "My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the hilarious thing this morning. You like children right? [wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well, anyway, so this is what happened..."
o BE your story. This is the most significant principle of storytelling. If you're telling a story about a friend's party, you have to hear, see, feel, smell, and taste everything that you are speaking about. Express emotion. Be interested in what you are talking about, or there is no chance that anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a expedition with you through your story.
• Sub-communication is the critical art of imparting knowledge something about yourself, without appearing to be "trying" to communicate it. This does NOT need to be verbal. Not displaying signs of interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have & have had gorgeous girls in your life & that you are not disrupted by her physical attractiveness. Or it could be verbal, usually combined with storytelling.
o This is an example of part of a longer story, which I've overstated for effect: "My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the airport this evening, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Porsche all of a sudden. It was too funny – I tried to pretend that I didn't see, and then like one hundred yards away from the airport, we get stopped. Shedid not tell me until afterwards that they'd just lent her the Porsche for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came on, I was really curious what was up. Finally, I whispered to her: "Anne, if in the last 3 days you'd become a drug tycoon and were on the FBI hit list, you would tell me right?"".
o In that story, we learn all sorts of things about the narrator. Many of these things, if he said them directly, would come off as big-headed and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they INCREASE his value.
This is a quick list of some things that got communicated:
He has an ex-girlfriend. He's not a total loser.
He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would give him a lift at the airport.
He has a life in which he travels (he's coming from the airport).
His ex-girlfriend has an expensive car. This doesn't necessarily give her a ton of significance, but it gives her a tiny bit - which gives you a bit of value by implication.
His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be gorgeous.
His ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they'd give her a cool car for the day as part of it. She must be very hot.
o The key to sub-communication is to make it understated. A useful pattern is to be talking about something BESIDES what you are attempting to sub-communicate. For instance, in the story above, the point of the sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to desirable females. However, the story is about getting stopped by the police.
o Use common sense & err on the side of too much subtlety, not too little. Do not be the guy who says "So I was at my accountant's office today, trying to figure out how much in taxes I owe on the $70 million I made last year, when he spilled OJ on the rug. Did you know orange juice stains don't come out?" Keep far, far, away from this.
o Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The following things, if sub-communicated efficiently, tend to be attractive to most girls:
Health
Humor
Social Intuition
Wealth
Status (especially being the leader of men)
Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
Confidence
Challenging
• Interactive DHVs
o An interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher worth through something you're doing then and there. For instance, making people laugh, telling them something thought provoking, teaching them something, or doing anything that shows that you're a chill dude is in itself a DHV.
Teasing
Teasing happens to be a very potent tool in the Mystery Method. You simultaneously uplift your social value in relation to hers, while apparently excluding yourself as a potential suitor for her. Guys that hit on her really don't do this kind of thing. The girl will know it & her friends will know it. The fact that you're clearly NOT hitting on her sub-communicates many things:
•It makes you a challenge. When every other dude fawns over her but you aren't won over yet, it's more fun for her to try to get your attention and 'convert' you than it is to play a game that's already won.
•It gives you higher worth. If you're not hitting on her, you must have other girls in your world. Perhaps these girls are more beautiful and wanted than her. This reflects very well on you.
•It disarms her friends. If people in her entourage think you are really hitting on her, they might try to take her away or make you look bad in front of her. If you're just a fun, cool dude who doesn't have any obvious interest in her, they'll be more likely to accept you, or even help you later.
Overdoing it can show as hostile or arrogant, which is unattractive.
Teasing must also be conveyed properly. Drawing too much attention to them will make them feel weird. Forcing her to act in response to them might make her feel wary or cautious. Teasing is best conveyed as a sidebar conversation to whatever exchange you are currently having, rather with someone else. For instance, if you go up to 2 hotties, Mandy and Jen, and you're interested in one of them, you might be telling them both a story, and, while focusing slightly more of your attention on the girl you don't like, suddenly tease the girl you do like. Without pausing to let a conversation about this develop (and derail your original conversation) you calmly continue with what you were talking about before, leaving the girl you like feeling a little bit more less confident around you & needing your approval, but without putting the girl you like on the spot & forcing her to say something undesirable back to you - which would be unhelpful. The girl you don't like, meanwhile, who is sick of waiting around while dudes try to pick-up her more attractive pal, will like you more for not being like everyone else.
Just like opening, with attraction it is just as significant to understand when to leave it. Again, the answer is "as soon as you can." A tell-tale sign of qualification is that you get the woman to hit on you - to win you over. Every once in a while, check to see if the girl is ready to do this. Ask her "so, what's your story?" or something of the like and see if she starts trying to tell you good things about herself. If she does, you're in qualification.
ADVANCED SECTION
There is a better path to track your progress through attraction than just only seeing if she is prepared to go into qualification. You should look for, and be aware of, indicators of interest (IOIs). These are things that girls do when they become interested in by a man. This is an incomplete list to start with:
• She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking.
• She laughs.
• She touches you.
• She plays with / tosses her hair.
• She asks you for your name or any other personal questions (e.g., age, where you live, etc.).
• She disagrees with you but giggles when she does.
• She praises you on anything.
• She asks if you have a girlfriend or mentions your girlfriend, whether or not you've said you have one.
• She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.
• She introduces you to her buddies.
• Her friends go somewhere (to the bathroom, dance floor, wherever) and she stays chatting with you.
The moment you have a couple IOIs, you are definitely ready to try to move to qualification.
One more crucial element of attraction is timing. You cannot attract and be indifferent of her forever. After a while, she might decide that you are simply never going to be interested in her (in which case, a continued interaction would only make her feel bad about herself, needlessly reducing her self-esteem) or that you lack the self-confidence to be open to meeting new girls. Attraction need only take a moment - and only in rare cases go to 20-25 minutes. After twenty five minutes, if you don't have any signs of interest, you probably never will. And, don't confuse interest/attraction with victory. Getting a girl interested is very easy. Getting a girl to act on this interest is much harder. Don't be satisfied with small wins.